Bubba Misses You, Too

Dear Analin,

My mom asked me the other day if it was too late to send a sympathy card a week after a colleague of hers had lost her father. I told her absolutely not. Sometimes those delayed sympathies can mean more than the ones that come right away. They're a reminder to us that we're not the only ones who remember, and it reminds us we're not alone even though our grief goes on beyond that week of 'bereavement leave.'

At the beginning of the month I received a sympathy package from my beautiful blogging buddies, +Tena Carr, +Leanne Sype and +Nicole Pyles. It was full of different keepsakes, but the one that has been used the most is a beautiful throw. Joshua got it out with a big smile and I told him about the box it came in. The blanket had come with it's own note - when you wrap this around your shoulders, we hope you feel yourself wrapped in a hug. Joshua immediately covered himself neck to toes and announced, 'I feel Analin hugging me, Mommy!'

Sympathies and condolences can be too heavy right after a loss. Honestly, at that time, silent presence and support may be more the answer. Later, when the pain still hurts but isn't quite as raw, when sympathies can be heard with less of a bitter ear, that may be when they are needed most, yet not given because they'd been spent too early.

In our case, it was another reminder for your now 5-year-old brother, and a way for us to help keep you alive in our family through memory. Another memory we could make with you, even though you're not here. And that is what's so special about other people remembering you. That is why I love talking about you. Because the more people know and remember you, the more memories that can come from it.

Here's to a million more memories and then some.

Love,

Mommy.